A collection of festive movies that are most definitely on the naughty list.
Is nothing sacred? Apparently not, as it turns out that the world of adult Christmas movies is a thriving one. Perhaps it makes sense – not only is there a subversive thrill in undermining this family occasion but also, there is only so much saccharine and wholesomeness that anyone can take. Given that the world of Santa, elves and the like are practically begging for cosplay fetishism to begin with, who can blame people for wanting to get onto the naughty list with a bit of festive filth?
These raunchy films are certainly no less cynical and unseemly than most Hollywood Christmas films – the endless slew of romances, comedies and, increasingly, horror movies that are surely just as unrelated to the spirit of the season. If any time of year is begging to be satirised, it is surely this one with the endless commercial exploitation and greed. For anyone who queues up in the shops to buy needless tat or fill their fridges with more food than anyone really needs for one day to complain about the bad taste of festive porn is rather hypocritical, really. Enjoy Christmas any way you like – but don’t preach about how others might choose to.
These might be just the films for anyone who is exhausted by family gatherings, gift opening, massive Christmas dinners and the endless supply of utter crap on TV. Wind down your day with a bit of shameless filth to burst the whole pomposity of it all.
Below are just a few of the X-rated festive films out there. There are others with rather more ‘lively’ covers that we can’t really use but if you are an adventurous type, you’ll find them out there in the wilds of the internet. And we’ve avoided digging into erotic festive fiction – that’s a whole world of strangeness to be explored at another time.
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There’s always one title that will inspire, and ‘Tits A Wonderful Life’ wins this time.
Surprised no one has worked something out of ‘The Nutcracker’. Or a horror themed sexxxmas nasty…..’Krampussy’?
Happy christmas, ya filthy animal.
That’s the best Christmas line-up this year!
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