Probe To Uranus: Things That Look Like Sex Toys

A collection of unfortunate design errors.

Some ten years ago, I found myself with a terrible job working for an equally terrible paparazzi company that involved me doing night shifts where, for a large chunk of the time, there was nothing to do. You had to make your own fun on those nights and there was only so many films that I could watch on my laptop, so at one point I decided to start a blog devoted to things that looked uncannily like sex toys. because, you know, why not? I don’t know what inspired this – presumably, I found a couple of pictures somewhere or other and decided that this could be an amusing distraction.
Of course, as soon as I quit the job, I forgot all about this particular blog, which was not exactly a passion project to begin with. It might have remained at the back of my consciousness, barely remembered, had I not received an email from Tumblr congratulating me on its first ten years. Clearly, their automated system doesn’t take into account just how long a page might have been dormant.
A quick look at the page made me chuckle in much the same juvenile way that it did at the time and so it seemed a good idea to share this collection of misguided, ignorant or – possibly – rather malicious design failures with you here. This is, no doubt, the tip of the iceberg and as ever, we welcome additions so that we can – ahem – penetrate the subject further.
Oddly Shaped Carrot
Bicycle Seat
Dog Toys
Dog Toys
The Banana Bunker
Dora Aquapet
E.T. Finger Light
Hannah Montana Concert Candy
Lime Crime Lipstick
Hotel TV Remote Control
Jah Jah Binks Lollipop
Kamen Rider
ReFa Carat Facial Roller
Laser Pet Toy
Mobile Phone
Night of the Creeps
Play-Doh Applicator
Playstation Controller
Santa Claus in Rotterdam
Squiggle Wiggle
Star Trek
Superman Snuggler
Toy Swords
3D Gel
Sparkling Red Slippers
Strawberry Stem Remover
Citrus Reamer

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  1. What a wonderful collection. Had me laughing like a fake ad in Viz.
    Some of these designs are so (ahem) on point, they HAVE to be deliberate – fellow bored employees, maybe?
    Typically, the ones aimed at kids are the funniest. That glowing E.T. finger gives new meaning to the phrase “I’ll be right…heeeerre.” (or worse yet, “Ouch”!)
    Trust Shatner to be sporting the biggest. And bumpy too…for her pleasure, of course.

  2. The Hannah Montana one seems oddly prophetic of her transition to Miley Cyrus.

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