John Waters’ Yuletide Massacre

The Pope of Trash announces a festive, filthy US tour.

Merry Fistmas! Season’s Beatings! Happy Hole-A-Day! So declares John Waters in announcing his American Yuletide Massacre Christmas tour, which takes in seventeen shows – or fifteen as I write, as two have been postponed – as a festive variant on his False Negative (formerly This Filthy World) tour.

As the publicity for the opening show – at the Great American Music Hall on O’Farrell Street in San Francisco – states:

Both Santa and Jesus will send their regrets when this ho-ho-homo lets loose about reindeer virgin births, the illegally squatting Christ-child and chubby-chasing Mrs Clause. There’ll be no silent nights here! No, this rapid-fire monologue for adult delinquents asks the holiday questions, “Was Joseph a virgin, too?”, “Is Santa now an incel?”, “Is Rudolph a bossy bottom?”, “Prancer a no-fats-or-femmes top?” And Vixen, well, “Did she make love with Russ Meyer?” Faux miracles really do happen if you pray to a lower power and Waters begs for the Satanic Temple to convert Greta Thunberg, hopes for a holiday “wilding” outbreak against the Christmas spirit from non-Christian minority children worldwide, and dreams of a new Catholic saint based on Chucky.

Of course, John Waters’ world seems decidedly less strange and outrageous these days – how can he possibly compete with the very real insanity and delirium gripping huge chunks of the global population? An evening in the John Waters world will probably feel like a return to normality for many of us.

Full details of the tour dates are on his official website – no sign of any international appearances yet but fingers crossed.

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