We Like Big Butts (Surgically Enhanced Ones, At Least)

The desire for giant asses has apparently gone through the roof during the Covid era.

Just to show that the world is a very unpredictable place, the demand for cosmetic surgery went into a steep decline during 2020 – with one exception. The one procedure that saw an increase in demand was the butt implant.

Implants – as opposed to mere lifts – are like their breast equivalents, in that they increase size and volume. The desire for giant asses has gone through the roof during lockdown in America – up 22%, from 970 to 1,179. And that’s at a time when a lot of surgeries would be closed and most people’s non-emergency medical requirements were being put on the back burner.

Now, never let it be said that we are judgemental. While unnaturally giant butts are not necessarily for us, we understand that some people really like them. Good for them. Whatever floats your boat, we say. What really caught our eye in this story, as reported by Bloomberg, were the comments from dermatologist Ava Shamban. Apparently, the desire for butt implants could partially be explained by home working stagnation – that is, sitting on your arse all day, which of course no one ever did before working from home became a thing. And the other reason? Social media. The demand to keep up with the Kardashians has apparently driven women – and sorry ladies, but it’s really not men getting this particular implant – to action, in order to have something bootylicious to flaunt when they go back to work. “Presumably, seeing the higher, tighter rounder assets on social media or any number of reality distractions, had patients researching and ultimately scheduling procedures to give their bottom line a much-needed boost,” she said, bringing new meaning to the words ‘much-needed’, you might think. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons also suggested that the increased demand might be down to ‘the Zoom effect’, which suggests a basic misunderstanding of what work meetings on Zoom are actually like. Though maybe plastic surgeons spend all their time on Zoom calls waving their enhanced asses at the camera – they have very odd careers, let’s face it.

Curiously, the demand for hair transplants has dropped, despite Zoom conversations arguably showing up those thinning patches more than face-to-face conversations might – and certainly being a more noticeable thing than a massive butt. There has been a 60% drop in demand for transplants since 2019. Make of that what you will. Perhaps it’ll take a fatuous reality star flaunting flagrantly artificial hair to act as a role model and boost the industry. Now, if only we could think of an attention-hungry nobody with ludicrously unrealistic hair…

Help support The Reprobate: