Male Masturbating device manufacturer offers free surplus stock to sexually deprived pensioners and soldiers.
The Autoblow, for those of you unfamiliar with the product, is a crowdfunded male masturbator sex toy that apparently uses artificial intelligence to mimic human movement, therefore giving a more authentic blow job to the user. Jolly good, we say. But it would seem that either the product hasn’t sold quite as well as anticipated, or creator Brian Sloan got carried away with production numbers – either way, he is now left with 1500 old units of the Autoblow 2+ taking up warehouse space in the UK space before the brand new Autoblow A.I. hits the market, and as a telesales marketer might shout, EVERYTHING MUST GO!
Sloan describes the 2+ as “an iPhone 5 in the era of the iPhone 11” – in other words, it does the job perfectly well, it’s just not the latest model. I don’t know if sex toy enthusiasts are like Apple groupies, queuing overnight for the latest launches or immediately declaring last year’s technology as being suddenly unthinkable, but there we are – a new version is out, and the old one is surplus to requirements.
So Sloan is offering the old stock to charities in the UK, ideally those dealing with sexually frustrated older men or active service military personnel, both groups that have apparently been contacting him enquiring about the product but not having the money to buy one (an Autoblow will set you back $180 at full price).
Sloan had previously donated some eight thousand units to Cocks Not Glocks and other US organisations, but I fear that he might struggle to find takers in the UK, at least among the charitable sector. This is the country where moralising charities won’t even accept cash donations from the sex industry, and it’s hard to imagine Age Concern handing out masturbation devices to pensioners, no matter how much they might be appreciated by recipients. But in case any charity workers are reading this and think it’s their thing, you can contact Brian at UKgiveaway@vieci.