It’s been a while since we posted a hysterical, nonsense-filled Satanic Panic documentary from the 1980s – and believe me, there are a lot of them – so please enjoy Exposing the Satanic Web. Actually made in 1990, at the very height of the despicable mass hysteria, this has wonky-faced Dave Roever introducing the usual selection of nonsense, including testimony from police officers who apparently believe this rubbish entirely – something less laughable when you realise that social workers and police officers are still being indoctrinated into believing this nonsense across the UK even now.
But if we leave aside the depressing consequences of films like this, then there are laughs a-plenty to be had, from the Christian metal theme tune through to the whipping up of fear over any teenager who looks a bit different (and given that this is a Christian documentary, you can bet that any teenager fits that bill) and might have made the mistake of drawing a Metallica logo in their school books. Says one (non) expert, “85% of teenagers in high schools of Western Europe have been exposed to hardcore Satanism – that’s an unbelievable figure.” Unbelievable indeed. The causes are the usual suspects – heavy metal, dungeons and dragons, individuality etc.